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My hands in the air. The moment before the fall. I closed the folder gently.
Today I would begin filing the formal paperwork with Nadine. But before that, I needed to look backward one last time. I pulled out an old notebook from my purse, the kind with the green cloth cover, the edges worn soft.
Like the time I noticed the mail being sorted before it reached the kitchen table. Or how Bradley insisted on managing the utility bills himself, even though I had always paid them. The questions Juliana asked—casual but calculated—about who would inherit the house or if I had updated my will.
And then there were the papers I never saw again. My Social Security statements. The envelope from the bank.
I remembered one day I asked if my Medicare card had arrived, and Juliana waved me off, saying she had put it somewhere safe. I never found it. Alone in the kitchen of that quiet apartment, I realized what I had been feeling wasn’t paranoia.
It was preparation. They weren’t waiting for me to die. They were preparing for me to disappear quietly.
Without fuss. Without questions. I took a long sip of tea and stared out the window.
Snow had returned again, fine and steady, covering rooftops like dust on forgotten shelves. After breakfast, I dressed with care. Not out of vanity.
Out of purpose. Gray trousers. Black turtleneck.
Wool coat. The same coat I wore when I signed my first leadership contract at the hospital in 1984. That coat had seen the inside of more boardrooms than most junior partners ever would.
No clutter. No photos. Only a pen and a yellow legal pad.
She didn’t offer small talk. She didn’t need to. She opened the folder, flipped through each page, and nodded.
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